New Stuff Don't Come Easy

After few days of begging and begging, FINALLY my dad says yes to my new phone.
All sponsored and the phone is already ordered.
I am so damn excited to come back to Muar for the weekend for my phone. (ok this sounds really bad because I come back for a phone instead of my family, oh the horror!)
But i couldn't get it yet because the stock is not here yet.
-sigh-
And i expected so much from it.
I can't wait to try!!
Anyways, there is nothing much that happened to me this weekend..
A nosebleed and a backache.
I am having the backache right now and it is really uncomfortable..
I have been having nosebleed for a few times already.
It looks really bad to me, but it only happens to me when i'm back here.
Must be the air-cond.

Bersih 3.0 had just ended yesterday.
I wasn't there, so i can't give much of my own comments to this issue.
But i believe that the people and the government must know that a country is not the land or the government. A country is its people. Without the people, what is a country?
There are many different reports from different parties.
Believing both sides will only cloud the mind.
So, i am just going to sit on the fence because no use pointing fingers at others when the truth is uncertain.

I think I should get my sleep now.
I will try to write more..
This blog is getting more and more dead.
Bye for now..
^^

Decisions! Decisions!

TIME FOR ME TO GET A NEW PHONE!!!!
yes, i know.. I still have my old phone and my old phone is still working..
it's getting slower though..
2 years this coming July..
so, i have looked on countless smartphones all the way from HTC to Samsung...
I decided on these few phones:
1. HTC One X
2. HTC Sensation XE
3. Samsung Galaxy S2
4. wait for Samsung Galaxy S3..

well, i looked at reviews, youtube videos, ask everyone i know.. and the list is based on the level that i want the phone..
so, now i need the reader's opinion..
Yes to new phone?? No to new phone??
If not, why????
If yes, which one???
Thank you!!


XDDDD
p/s: i'm going to pay for my own phone bill and everything.. -sigh- but dad is going to sponsor for my phone (hopefully.. -fingers crossed- )

hey! Hey!! HEY!!!

How long has it been?
4 months?
hahaha.. ok, i will honestly apologize to my readers.. I have been really lazy lately, not posting blogs and all, well, say thank you to slow internet speed, I'm back to my blog.. (hopefully my internet is not barred right now)
I am actually addicted/caught up to a new private server, ForeverMS, a maplestory private server so I have neglected writing for a long time. Having friends in the virtual world kinda hooks me there a lot. The drama, the love life, the friendship, the arguments, cant get enough of them. My friends have been scolding me for not being able to differentiate my real life and my virtual life. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to seek love and friendship in the virtual world where you have never seen anyone before! I need a break sometimes. Not being able to talk to people is tough. Changing is even tougher.
It's been a tough year for me. Having new semesters starting, none of my resolutions are even succeeded. Still a girl wishing for someone for her birthday every year -sigh-. BUT it's okay! I shall wait for another year! Always waiting.. But if i can't well, i will be married to my job, my house or maybe my dog.. hahaha.. if you know what i mean.
Right so, currently I am writing a book, a half-ass job (what the fuck!) and not a good one.. Everyone has the idea, but some can write it out. It wasn't easy, but I do hope my work will be published some day. It's still crappy at this stage but I will definitely improve soon!!
Saw a few lightnings in the distance.. Looks like it will be a cold night..
Shall update soon when I can. Well, I will!!

XDD

New Resolutions!!! And New Motivations to SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!

Yosh!!! New motivations and aims to buy more things that i like..
This post is going to remind me of everything that i wrote and must not forget about it!!!

New Resolutions to make next year!!!
1. NO MORE SAYING THAT I'M FOREVER ALONE BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE HAVE IT WORST THAN ME!! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!! MUST MUST MUST KEEP THAT I HAVE FRIENDS IN MIND!!! (i don't mean anything but i tend to forget important things.)
2. NO MORE EATING TOO MUCH!! ALSO IF WANT, MUST EXERCISE!! GO SWIMMING EVERY WEEK 3 TIMES!!! (i must not avoid good food)
3. EAT MORE VEGE AND FRUITS!!
4. MUST STUDY HARD AND EARN MORE MONEY TO BUY MY THINGS THAT I WANT!!
5. EARN MONEY!! MUST OPEN MY JIGSAW PUZZLE SHOP IN KL ONE DAY!! (this is for real..)
6. STOP DREAMING ABOUT THINGS THAT I WANT BUT WORK HARD FOR IT!!

ok now, the list of items that i want that will motivate me into saving money to buy..
1. New house's furniture from Ikea.. Budget: 100,000
2. Jigsaw puzzle business.. Budget: 55,000
3. Charles and Keith Shoes.. Budget: 300
4. Personal Computer.. Budget: 3,000
5. Beats earphone by Dr. Dre.. Budget: 200
6. One Piece Discs (all).. Budget: 500
7. 1/60 Gundam Astray Red Frame (PG).. Price: 630
8. Shi Musha Gundam (MG).. Price: 185
9. Destiny Gundam (SD).. Price: 31
10. 1/100 Gundam Epyon EW(MG).. Price: 168

ohohohoh... having motivation is better than having none.. hopefully can have all of them before im 40...
XDDDD

ok now, i shall go back to sleep..
got paper tomorrow..
actually today..
but the next day won't start until I wake up...
OYASUMINASAI, MINA-SAN!!!!

Jigsaw Puzzles

to anyone out there who cares about puzzle (im bored anyway), here are some tips on how to buy puzzles..

1. For a 1000 pieces puzzle it will weigh roughly 1 kg to 1.5 kg.. DO NOT buy the ones lighter than that.. All you will get is pieces that will fall off easily and not joined together even when put together...

2. A very good quality puzzle, once done, you can actually carry it up with both hands on opposite sides in one piece.. i personally tried one 200 pieces and 500 pieces of both Disney characters, and both did not fall off.. A good quality will stick together when carry while a few by the sides will fall off.. That's is still consider good... A bad one can never join together...

3. A very good quality 1000 pieces puzzle can cost up to RM 100 ~ 200 as stated in a shop that i love to visit... Jigsaw Puzzle World.. There are many kinds also, 3D and small pieces.. Animes is getting in the hype there.. Puzzles are a little bit pricey so please do make sure not to spend too much.. You can reassemble it after doing it again and again and again (just don't lose the pieces to the mean vacuum cleaner and black holes under cupboards and sofas)..

4. Lastly, when you get a good brand stay with it, sometimes quality can change but why risk? I recommend Clementoni but most of it are Disney's..

p/s: this may be an irony to number 1 but some heavy ones are due to the box or thicker pieces but they don't stick together anyway.. Some light ones stick together but the box is light.. So, for this, you have to rely on your skills in looking at the packaging.. shake it a bit and well, see the price of course.. you never try, you never know..

Have Fun!!

Never...

I can never beat my sister...
She is the beautiful one, the confident one, and the one that speaks out the most...
All i can do is hide behind the shadow and appear only when the sun is out...
I have failed so many times yet, getting up is always a hassle...
Life is a bitch, what can i do?
I know a lot people will advise me to beat my sister...
But i think she is suited to be on top...
Im nothing, I dun deserve to be there...
Plus i love my sister.. I can never have the heart to do it....
Sometimes, life is so unfair, it pulls you down so low like quicksand...
No one can help you but yourself..
No matter what i do, i always fail..
The ones that helped me a lot are my friends...
I can't even do much...
I can't even pull myself up..
I failed in everything.....
I can't even fulfill a good daughter's job..
I can't even make my parents proud...
While I'm typing this, for the first time, tears flow down naturally...
Not only in my heart.....
I really need a hug now......
Anyone?
Help me.....

My Life So Far

it's been so long since i written another blog post.
so what is going so far in my life, i shall sum all in one post. (all that happens does not happen in time arrangement, its all jumbled up.)
1. Exam is coming. Hectic life. Im actually studying in this freezing cold room..
2. im addicted to 9gag. I know!! Its just another web with pictures that hooks people up once you start on it.
3. I actually started to DOTA.. Not A Good Thing!!! Don't learn from me.
4. My sleeping time is now officially 8am to 5 pm.. and study.. and all over again..
5. My first article is posted in neXus! ehee.. see that name.. ^^ im so happy!!
6. I haven't been eating a lot.. but still couldn't loose any weight. maybe when i eat, i didn't control the intake.
7. My love life.. Nah.. still doesn't have any hope. Im predicting a single life.
8. Im addicted to The Sims Social in Facebook. Oh, well. It's The Sims.. for God's sake
9. I'm now playing Maplestory and Gunbound all over again.. but due to exa, im surprise i don't even have the desire to play any of it.
10. I just noticed that sweet things make my teeth ache.. Oh, THE HORROR!!!! now, i cant enjoy chocolate and sweets... I might as well die....
11. Animes.. How can i live without them? Anime suggestion on the bottom p/s.
12. Trying real hard to save up enough money to buy a PC.
13. Nothing much actually. coz i tend to forget things.. short term memory......

oh well.. maybe this is all that happens. yeah, i have a very boring life... i can repeat the same songs few times and don't get bored of it...
ok then i shall try and update soon after my exam..-yawn-

p/s: Its freaking 5.58a.m
pp/s: I keep clench my teeth coz its cold... how can i stop dat? it hurts a lot..
ppp/s: shall i cosplay during Comic Fiesta?
pppp/s: Anime suggestion: Ao No Exorcist (Blue Exorcist), Natsume Yuujinchou, Nurarihyon No Mago, Gintama, Eyeshield21, Kekkaishi, Katekyo Hitman Reborn and so far this is the best: One Piece. shall update more animes after watching them.

I have never been so mad..

see this date properly..
its a date to be remembered by me..
6 August 2011.. 9.55a.m...
look at it long and hard then look at the calender..
its just a normal day right?
normal oni la.. of coz...
i have never been so mad i wanna cry...
everything bottled up just came gushing out..

i dunno is it my upbringing or is it my own fault..
well, most of the time im always the one blaiming myself for all the wrong doing..
but today, i shall become selfish..
i am ditched like F**K today..
is my voice soft?
or wait, ur ears are not made for mine?
hmm?
the whole journey back, i was so mad in my head i can just breakdown on the floor right there and there..
seriously, i think u are damn happy...
so damn happy u feel like jumping up and down..
i know other people are more important...
come on, who will look at me? hmm?
do i have to announce that IM HERE??!!

i got ditched really badly and im still so damn hurt now..
i am always the shy lonely person who cant talk to people..
i dun have much friends..
i go laughing..
i cant even have a friend that i wont doubt except for one..
i cant even talk to people because i might hurt others..
i seriously have pulled myself lower than ever..

and now, this thing happens..
i can actually feel myself jumping down..
ok seriously i need a serious therapy talking..
just because of one small thing, i got into such a serious mode..
u know, i have been living in my lonely world for a very long time..
i cant even find a space that is filled with lights..
except for the spotlight in the far corner just beside me..
and now, everything seems to close apart and im seriously damn sad now..
i can actually feel that im just a normal girl, in everyone's normal life..
im not someone to be thought about..
im not someone that anyone can remember..
remember things back..
i do get ditched a lot of times..

i had sacrifice too much alr..
i listen to other people but never myself..
and when i do, this happens..
u know.. i really do feel suicidal now.. so i better stop writing...
bye bye..


SAD


p/s: if u think it's u, YES, its u!! im pushing this in ur face now.. ITS F**KING YOU!!