Friday, August 5, 2011

I have never been so mad..

see this date properly..
its a date to be remembered by me..
6 August 2011.. 9.55a.m...
look at it long and hard then look at the calender..
its just a normal day right?
normal oni la.. of coz...
i have never been so mad i wanna cry...
everything bottled up just came gushing out..

i dunno is it my upbringing or is it my own fault..
well, most of the time im always the one blaiming myself for all the wrong doing..
but today, i shall become selfish..
i am ditched like F**K today..
is my voice soft?
or wait, ur ears are not made for mine?
the whole journey back, i was so mad in my head i can just breakdown on the floor right there and there..
seriously, i think u are damn happy...
so damn happy u feel like jumping up and down..
i know other people are more important...
come on, who will look at me? hmm?
do i have to announce that IM HERE??!!

i got ditched really badly and im still so damn hurt now..
i am always the shy lonely person who cant talk to people..
i dun have much friends..
i go laughing..
i cant even have a friend that i wont doubt except for one..
i cant even talk to people because i might hurt others..
i seriously have pulled myself lower than ever..

and now, this thing happens..
i can actually feel myself jumping down..
ok seriously i need a serious therapy talking..
just because of one small thing, i got into such a serious mode..
u know, i have been living in my lonely world for a very long time..
i cant even find a space that is filled with lights..
except for the spotlight in the far corner just beside me..
and now, everything seems to close apart and im seriously damn sad now..
i can actually feel that im just a normal girl, in everyone's normal life..
im not someone to be thought about..
im not someone that anyone can remember..
remember things back..
i do get ditched a lot of times..

i had sacrifice too much alr..
i listen to other people but never myself..
and when i do, this happens..
u know.. i really do feel suicidal now.. so i better stop writing...
bye bye..


p/s: if u think it's u, YES, its u!! im pushing this in ur face now.. ITS F**KING YOU!!