Dream

This is the first time something like this happened to me.
As I walked towards the door, I put my hand and pushed hard on it. It was difficult at first. How can this small door be this hard to open, I thought. I grind my teeth and continued pushing. A ray of red light came through the small crack. And slowly, the small door swung opened. The next thing I saw was a the red sun shining brightly on top of a high mountain. The barren land lay dead in front of me. The land is dry. The sun must have dried it all up. There is a river of red water runs through the land. I stared at it closely and noticed that it is running blood. Grabbing my hand out quickly, I stumbled into a nearby rock and cut my back. Before I could react to it, a sudden tsunami wave of brown water rushed towards me. I was pushed all the way back to the door. I held on tight to the side of the door to avoid getting washed away. As the flow subsides, I re-positioned myself and squat at the side of the door. The brown water was hot and every part of me that hit the water is burning. I whispered to myself to reduce the pain. Suddenly, another huge wave appeared and splashed straight at me. This time, I screamed silently as the water passed through me. I held my knees together tightly and tried to persevere through the pain. I sighed in relief as the pain recedes. I open my eyes and realized I am in my room. I thought this may be a dream. There is a short sharp pain behind my back and I saw a long cut right down my spine through the mirror. Is it a dream or is it true?




You have no idea that I just described my bowel movement. Haha.

Dream

Last night, I was stressed out from your comment on how I should initiate more instead of him doing everything.
I am originally a very shy person. It is hard for me to start a conversation nonetheless, continue one.
Even using a social media, it is tough.
But for him, I guess I will try harder.
And last night, due to the stress, I dreamed that we broke up. I was like 'what' when I woke up. Can't really remember any of it.
Refuse to.

Hate

It's so easy to make people hate me. I should do it more.

Right......................

I AM SITTING STUPIDLY IN FRONT OF MY LAPTOP WONDERING STUPIDLY WHY NOBODY WANTS TO TALK TO ME.. STUPID RIGHT?

No more arguments, no more being nice!

I am so damn tired of being nice and arguments..
Arguing is just plain stupid.
People argue all day, of course, no one agrees with everything that is happening in the world right now. But what is the point arguing on stupid stuffs?
I am so sick and tired of arguing on the small matters that I have given up the whole thing.
I have tried arguing with so many people, I can't give a good comeback, some even say i give horrible arguments which makes no sense at all, so I might as well keep this fucking mouth shut and not argue at all. To some of you out there, this is pathetic. But it is not to me.
So if anyone starts an argument, I am just going to say, 'yes, you are right, I am wrong, I am stupid, you win, the end, shut up.'

Which brings to the point of being nice.
Being nice all the time is the most stupidest thing I can do.
People nowadays just takes advantage of those that are nice and fucking step on their heads without feeling sorry.
Why?
Because they are too nice to object or even say no.
Some of the people might think, 'oh, this girl is just crapping and she doesn't know what is she talking about, bla bla bla.'
Get real!
Real world doesn't work with nice people.
Most people will take the most advantage out of you without considering your feeling whatsoever.
Why consider their feeling when they are you stupid stepping stone to success or whatever bullshit that is?
The word 'EMPATHY' is no longer existing in anyone's dictionary.
Yes, I am writing this anger.
Done for now.
Goodbye.

Hmm.....

Talk! I say Talk!!!

come on!!!

TALK!!!!!!!!!!

all i can do now is shout in my blog...

ahduii....

im having a poker face now..

=.=

A Beautiful Nightmare..

yesterday night was the happiest night i ever had and the worst one i will never forget..

i really feel like giving up now..

after successfully found a perfect guy with everything I expected,

everything came crashing down..

u know.. if and only if i did not have this stupid big fat mouth,

i would have survived and not ruined my petty life..

i doomed my own life..

funny thing is that i thought my sister would understand me..

me, the girl who always put family and friends above her but my first priority is family..

and because of food, everything goes down...

u know..

im so down right now, my sweat feels like tears..

no tears can flow out of my eyes..

im going crazy..

u make me crazy..

i have been messing my brains up..

i couldnt do anything because i was afraid of saying anything wrong..

i pulled myself down too low, i felt like an ostrich..

(put my head in the ground but my body is still there)

im going to make everyone reading this to go emo like me..

ok la.. dats all..

gonna update soon..

but not in the weekend...

going back..

bye peeps..

peace out~

ARGHHHH!!!

i feel like strangling the person next to me now..

the lecturer wouldnt listen to my reason and just shouted at me..

well, she said a firm NO.. dat sounded like a shout..

i am so mad right now..

i mean how can there be not enough tables and chairs in a big lecture hall..

can u please tell me how can there be not enough place for me to sit when i am only one person??!!

why is the management trying to make things so much more complicated???

i had the sign and everything on a piece of white paper provided..

when i went to the office to pass it up, guess wat they said..

today we are changing to yellow paper.. so white papers are NOT allowed!!

i mean... oh gawd... i had to walk all the way there just to find my paper is not accepted..

dat is so freaking -stamped my feet- RIDICULOUS!!!

and cant people please be more polite..

i mean the lecturers are fine for yelling.. they are lecturers..

but the management people (clerks) just have to be so damn rude..

they looked at you like you are a dirt on their 'Prada' shoes....

smile people!!! smile!!!

so now, i have to listen to my lecturer and just go on with another time..

i hope my sister won't get mad at me..

well, first i did not register it.. not knowing that it is a must take subject.. (-stab stab stab-)

and now, i have to forgo my theater class...

it's full and if i have to go back there and argue with the clerk to register?

sorry.. i take next sem...

well, ok..

dat actually sums up everything that happens today..

ranting in blog is nice..

should i make this blog private so i dun get hunt by the management?

Pros And Cons

i have been wanting to post this a looooooooong time alr...

so since im waiting for my anime to stream, i might as well post this..

last 2/3 weeks ago, i found something in my eyes.. i mean the skin outside my eyes which is on the inside part..

so, its kind of a little yellowish thing which freaks me out so much that i though that i will not see light anymore if i sleep..

i did get to sleep though coz i listed out some of the pros and cons of being blind..

there are a few of the things that i will not get to do if i go blind.. 0.0

1. I will not be able to drive.

Pros: i will get someone to drive for me.. yay!!

Cons: i have to pay him/her... MY WHOLE LIFE!

2. I will not get to blog. Typing will be hard. (except if i can memorize all the abc on the keyboard and avoid any mistakes will typing fast)

Pros: i wont get to blog.

Cons: i wont get to BLOG!!!

3. I will never get to read the menu when i'm eating in a restaurant.

Pros: somebody else will pick for me out of 10 choices so i dun have to choose (i hate choosing).

Cons: what if she/ he order something i hate. (i kill you)

4. I wont know where the cutleries and my glass of water will be.

Pros: pampering, pampering.

Cons: i cant enjoy my meal without spilling somwthingor dropping my food on the floor/table.. hate it..

5. I cant read my books.

Pros: THERE IS NO PROS IN HERE!!

Cons: i cant read my books.. except if there is someone who will read to me (i dun like people reading to me) or if they translate it to the what-you-call-dots-for-blind-people-to-read dots (still cant beat the joy of reading abc on paper).

6. I cant go on Facebook.

Pros: FREE from Facebook addiction..

Cons: Alone?

7. I cant enjoy sceneries in so many places especially places i want to go.

Pros: well, at least there will be someone who will accompany me on my journey.. i still can breathe the air?

Cons: why go on a holiday when u cant see anything?

8. I cant watch animes.

Pros: THERE ARE ALSO NO PROS IN THIS KIND OF THINGS..

Cons: i cant watch animes.. Oh, horror.. Even if i learn Japanese, i wont understand the whooshing and the swatting noises..

9. No more classes?

Pros: NO MORE EARLY CLASSES!!

Cons: i need to work?

10: Stay home all day.

Pros: Lazy.

Cons: alone....

ok dats a few of the pros and cons for being blind..

bye peeps..

XDDD

p/s: if i did get blind i need to close my blog.. maybe.. hopefully not...

Honesty is the BEST policy?

this is only an honest opinion, not to contradict anyone's opinion on the above statement.

so honesty, yeah honesty..

have you ever been honest in ur whole life?

never..

no one can do that..

my opinion, i think honesty is like boasting..

i mean ok..

so if u uphold a very strong promise to urself that u will be honest for today, for example..

u had a nice dinner at a gourmet restaurant with all the fancy small serving food (no offence, i dun like gourmet food's portion coz i have a black hole for a stomach)..

u went back home and chat with ur friend, bla bla bla.. and the question, what u had for dinner?

well, not wanting to boast that u went to a gourmet restaurant and eaten a nice fish fillet with lobster sauce with steamed asparagus by the side.. (i just made that up though its actually quite nice)

and not wanting to tell a lie, how do you answered?

"i went to a restaurant and ate fish and veges.. its pretty good"

right?

its the truth...

but still the question goes on..

"oh icic... erm.. which restaurant did u go?"

another truthful answer...

"a gourmet restaurant"

and the next thing people will go woah...

days felt bad bla bla bla..

small white lies may not hurt but i still think that honesty can sometimes be a little boast..

i didn mean that u must stay honest all ur life or u will be struck by lightning (touchwood! touchwood!) but its just my opinion and im crapping coz im staying in my mum's office hving nothing to do and thinking whether i should print a few scores... but i dun wan to waste paper.. =.=

ok bye peeps, thats all from me today...

hope u enjoyed everything in life..

bye~

XDDDD

p/s: still be honest with urself and people around u..

Weird Thinking of a Human Being...

people are so weird, which makes them special, some of u may think..

but this weirdness is not the 'good' kind of weird.. its the 'bad' kind.. the annoying one to be precise..

so, in KL we have tonnes of shopping malls.. i wont name any one of the malls just to protect their privacy and rights and whatsoever...

in this certain mall, which i really hate to go, they have brand stores from all over the world...

very high class one to be honest..

the moment i went in, i was awed by the places and all the decorations (it was chinese new year, chinese new year shopping, yay!)

beautiful, everything was just wonderful, i think i looked like a 'Jakun' (a person who never seen anything before and acts all wow here, wow there everywhere)

so, as we entered shops to look at the stuffs, the weird people part arrived..

there are 2 salesman and saleswoman who looked at us up and down, up and down, the attire, the handbag, the shoes (we are just wearing casual, not so gaudy looking) and continue back talking..

outrageous attitude..

i mean u are a worker there and how dare u judge how rich a person is on how she/he looks..

so my dad just ignored the fella(s) and went on looking around..

they didn bother to tell us anything about it.. i mean its not everyday we memorise brands from all over the world..

i know you are working at a famous brand shop but still, manners are still manners..

i think they looked at us and think that 'oh, this guy wont buy anything from here'..

come on!

its common courtesy to greet ur guest, say a little hello and introduce a few sales product here and there...

if u warm up to the customer, they might eventually probably buy one of the products..

so if high class salesmen and saleswomen are not going to waste their SALIVA, they might as well risk any commission or sales..

damn it.. stupid people..

this is only referring to certain shops..

some of the shops are really nice.. they open the door for u, greet u with a warm smile and said thank you or good day after u finished browsing their items eventhough you didn buy anything..

which is something that people should learn...

i really hope that one day, when i earn enough, i would go back to that particular mall, wearing only simple t-shirt and jeans, walk around and buy something expensive, scare them to death..

nyahaha...

ok then people, thats all for today!!

XDDD

p/s: dun judge a person by their looks.. how many times had a person died in those movies when they think the person looking like a killer is not a killer?

Right!! Im Back!!

ok back to work to updating u guys on wat im doing... not like u are interested... =.=

anyway lets start off with my job..

i had this job from Apple on the opening day of MacCity in Hatten Square... well more to like the other suppliers in accessories for IPhone 4..

Day 1:

Pretty excited to start my first job... Although its only a part-time job but its alright.. just trying only... Meet another guy who will be with me for 5 days selling the same things... Meet my boss and his friend.. Pretty nice.. Still going good.... And Then... Disaster struck... my partner took my sales... MY SALES!!! which actually gives me and incentive of RM10 per unit... well he stole i guess 4 of my sales? My friend (who introduced this job to me) helped me out.. So when back home with only 3 or 4 sales... nevermind... i shall be patient..

End of Day 1..

Day 2:

Nice Day... Might make nice sales.. Aimed for 10 sales to day.... Must work hard!!!

This time i did make it to 5 sales... still extremely mad at my partner.. he walked around so many times to other booths... i have to stand like hours at the same spot to take care of the products.. there is a lock for every product.. but still have to take care so i take my responsibility and stand there... luckily its next to a maxis booth so i can just sit for a few minutes and go on with my job... End of day 2 mad and only 9 sales...

Day 3:

Well i cant remember when is it on day 2 or day 3 dat he got an astounding 16 sales from a customer? (he walks a round so much, only 2 hours the most at his place and the job is 12 hours... sry didn mention above) he got 16 sales from a customer... if u buy ONLY the IPhone 4 without the maxis contract u need to buy a 200 ringgit worth of accessories... so that guy bought 2 which he had to choose 1000 ringgit of accessories... so that lucky bastard got 16 sales so damn luckily.. i got so mad dat day.... still couldnt get 9 sales... so end up with only 9 sales... dat day was a friday... the opening ceremony... i think so... (i dun wan to remember this much) so i end my day with nothing but anger... my parent came and brought me and my friends out for dinner... hope dat tmr will be a good day for sales..

Day 4:

Quit..

i Quit my Job...

y?

i wouldnt like to mention all this so i might as well just state the truth without beating about the bush..

i quit my job... and surprisingly i was really happy... i can go to the book fair in Dataran Pahlawan and bought like RM104.5 worth of books... which i thought that i will never spend on since im working... and i get to buy a new shirt.. i shud have taken XL now i cant wear it.. =.=

Dats the end of my job experience.... not a very good one but i reminds me that i will never work with that guy again...

p.s: will explain my chinese new year celebration in my next post.. enjoy!!!