Fucked up

I just fucked up my whole life. Once a bright student, now I find myself a disappointment.
Due to my increasing level of laziness, I did the following:

• Skipped too many classes
• No assignment group mates which causes me to miss out 20 marks.
• Fall back on my studies.

This semester has been hard for me. I am a very lazy person in nature. And karma hits me back double. I have been counted lucky a few times. I guess this is where my luck is gone. I shouldn't have relied on luck too much.
Sometimes, I do think of giving up and just suicide. But this won't change anything. It will still make my family and friends sad. I have to buckle up and try to score this semester.
If I continue skipping classes, this on my own written words, would ask someone to take my money, buy guns and bullets and shoot me in the head.
I really am very tired of all this.
I don't have much friends.
I am grateful for those that helped me.
I am so happy to have some friends who still helps me.



In the middle of the night, all I want is just a hug.  

Compact Semester!

Presentation is tonight and i am FREAKING OUT!!!
It has been so long since i have presentations but every single time is a nerve wrenching experience.
Next week is going to be finals. 2 papers. This week is all studying and assignments and presentations.
Hopefully i can get through this as fast as possible because I can't take anymore stress.
Last week, i was having the relax mode and i need to push the fact that next week is finals already!!
Anyways, i am keeping my fingers crossed that I don't fail this semester.
I can't register my subject yet.
Seems like i have to meet my academic advisor..
Which will be a big hassle since i seriously need to study and get everything over with..
I am hoping for semester break now..
I am going to enjoy myself once I am DONE with my finals..
OK..
Mind block.
So, i'm going to leave it here for now..
Bye. CYA.

hey! Hey!! HEY!!!

How long has it been?
4 months?
hahaha.. ok, i will honestly apologize to my readers.. I have been really lazy lately, not posting blogs and all, well, say thank you to slow internet speed, I'm back to my blog.. (hopefully my internet is not barred right now)
I am actually addicted/caught up to a new private server, ForeverMS, a maplestory private server so I have neglected writing for a long time. Having friends in the virtual world kinda hooks me there a lot. The drama, the love life, the friendship, the arguments, cant get enough of them. My friends have been scolding me for not being able to differentiate my real life and my virtual life. I guess it was pretty stupid of me to seek love and friendship in the virtual world where you have never seen anyone before! I need a break sometimes. Not being able to talk to people is tough. Changing is even tougher.
It's been a tough year for me. Having new semesters starting, none of my resolutions are even succeeded. Still a girl wishing for someone for her birthday every year -sigh-. BUT it's okay! I shall wait for another year! Always waiting.. But if i can't well, i will be married to my job, my house or maybe my dog.. hahaha.. if you know what i mean.
Right so, currently I am writing a book, a half-ass job (what the fuck!) and not a good one.. Everyone has the idea, but some can write it out. It wasn't easy, but I do hope my work will be published some day. It's still crappy at this stage but I will definitely improve soon!!
Saw a few lightnings in the distance.. Looks like it will be a cold night..
Shall update soon when I can. Well, I will!!

XDD

My Life So Far

it's been so long since i written another blog post.
so what is going so far in my life, i shall sum all in one post. (all that happens does not happen in time arrangement, its all jumbled up.)
1. Exam is coming. Hectic life. Im actually studying in this freezing cold room..
2. im addicted to 9gag. I know!! Its just another web with pictures that hooks people up once you start on it.
3. I actually started to DOTA.. Not A Good Thing!!! Don't learn from me.
4. My sleeping time is now officially 8am to 5 pm.. and study.. and all over again..
5. My first article is posted in neXus! ehee.. see that name.. ^^ im so happy!!
6. I haven't been eating a lot.. but still couldn't loose any weight. maybe when i eat, i didn't control the intake.
7. My love life.. Nah.. still doesn't have any hope. Im predicting a single life.
8. Im addicted to The Sims Social in Facebook. Oh, well. It's The Sims.. for God's sake
9. I'm now playing Maplestory and Gunbound all over again.. but due to exa, im surprise i don't even have the desire to play any of it.
10. I just noticed that sweet things make my teeth ache.. Oh, THE HORROR!!!! now, i cant enjoy chocolate and sweets... I might as well die....
11. Animes.. How can i live without them? Anime suggestion on the bottom p/s.
12. Trying real hard to save up enough money to buy a PC.
13. Nothing much actually. coz i tend to forget things.. short term memory......

oh well.. maybe this is all that happens. yeah, i have a very boring life... i can repeat the same songs few times and don't get bored of it...
ok then i shall try and update soon after my exam..-yawn-

p/s: Its freaking 5.58a.m
pp/s: I keep clench my teeth coz its cold... how can i stop dat? it hurts a lot..
ppp/s: shall i cosplay during Comic Fiesta?
pppp/s: Anime suggestion: Ao No Exorcist (Blue Exorcist), Natsume Yuujinchou, Nurarihyon No Mago, Gintama, Eyeshield21, Kekkaishi, Katekyo Hitman Reborn and so far this is the best: One Piece. shall update more animes after watching them.

What makes A Man A Man?

Can we call a man these days a man?

they can call themselves a gentleman but did they have the manners and the act of a gentleman?

guys these days hit girls on the face and complained to his parents, "why couldn't i hit a girl when a girl can hit me?"

gentlemen in the older ages are either extinct or they are gay.

but i have the opportunity to meet one of the extinct gentlemen.

i shall not write his name for privacy as i am writing about him without his consent.

it was raining hard around 11pm.

me, A1, A2, and C were having supper in McD..

free mcnuggets for every purchase of an ala carte mcnuggets.

so we had to go back early coz i have early class the next day (which i didn't attend)..

A1 decided to run to the car to fetch me and A2 under the shade..

so having a newspaper in his hand, C held it on her head and accompany her all the way under the rain.

that is the sweetest thing that a guy can do to a girl and that is what i thing a man should be called a man...

tell me again how to find a guy like this?

we have abusive husbands all around the world..

"even guys that could cry from something so emotional can also be considered a guy"

a gentleman is a guy that puts a girl above himself, treats her right and make sure she is happy till the end of her life.

but guys this days would just hold an umbrella for himself, stranding the girl alone under the rain..

eat all the food without caring about others who never tried it yet.

did not give ways to girl but himself first..

so, to any guy who is reading this, please do learn from the guy above (it is a real story)...

be a gentleman, you won't regret it..

let's not make the gentleman age go extinct..

XDD

ARGHHHH!!!

i feel like strangling the person next to me now..

the lecturer wouldnt listen to my reason and just shouted at me..

well, she said a firm NO.. dat sounded like a shout..

i am so mad right now..

i mean how can there be not enough tables and chairs in a big lecture hall..

can u please tell me how can there be not enough place for me to sit when i am only one person??!!

why is the management trying to make things so much more complicated???

i had the sign and everything on a piece of white paper provided..

when i went to the office to pass it up, guess wat they said..

today we are changing to yellow paper.. so white papers are NOT allowed!!

i mean... oh gawd... i had to walk all the way there just to find my paper is not accepted..

dat is so freaking -stamped my feet- RIDICULOUS!!!

and cant people please be more polite..

i mean the lecturers are fine for yelling.. they are lecturers..

but the management people (clerks) just have to be so damn rude..

they looked at you like you are a dirt on their 'Prada' shoes....

smile people!!! smile!!!

so now, i have to listen to my lecturer and just go on with another time..

i hope my sister won't get mad at me..

well, first i did not register it.. not knowing that it is a must take subject.. (-stab stab stab-)

and now, i have to forgo my theater class...

it's full and if i have to go back there and argue with the clerk to register?

sorry.. i take next sem...

well, ok..

dat actually sums up everything that happens today..

ranting in blog is nice..

should i make this blog private so i dun get hunt by the management?

New Semester! New Lecturers! New Friends! New Room! Same Roommate..

I have not been able to blog because of the line here which is extremely slow....... and i moved into a new apartment! which is directly in front of my campus.. i can see everything in my campus from here.. since i have only 1 hour to my next class.. im going to do this short..

nothing much actually happened except that i have a nice room in the apartment.. my roommate is the same.. my sister... she is my roommate from the old house and now she is still my roommate for another 2 years.. i really really miss the cat, T-Rex in my old house... although he loves to bite my wires and jump on people and go ninja mode (Ali's definition of him jumping around the house).. i do miss the times when i slept on the couch and he came up and snuggled close.. and end up using my tummy as a trampoline to jump of the couch.. he is heavy and he beat the air out of me..

i shall post more pictures next time.. but right now, i want to return to my comfy bed..

and moan over the fact that i have class later..

bye peeps.

i shall try and keep in touch soon! ^^

XDD

p/s: my pc is acting up... i need to let it sleep...

Busy busy busy...!

im not exactly that free.. i just find the picture cute.. haha..

anyway,

currently im trying to rush my procedure for changing my campus..

i am afraid that i may not be able to make it..

if not im going all the way to Cyber -gasp-

and im also trying to finish my video..

which surprisingly an MMV..

hopefully everything is ok coz i find it so lame..

its my first time using sony vegas and its not easy...

editing and everything..

but i shall try and get it done by next 2months..

hehe..

class is starting soon so i dun think i have time to make dat...

and also play maple..

well, i cant talk much...

i need to get some sleep..

i had only like 4 hours of sleep?

haizz..

not a good thing..

i admit that i had not taken off my contact lenses for 4 days...

i kinda lazy and just plop on my bed and sleep...

hopefully i wont get blind because of that..

that's all peeps..

see ya soon or maybe after i done my MMV...

love u all....

XDDD

p/s: i had to run around campus to do stuffs... and i think i lost a lot of weight.. yay!!

Addicted..

back to school.... back to books.. back to assignments and quiz..

i hate it..

i was happily shopping in Ipoh and KL last weekend..

though im a little angry too since my brother got ANOTHER SubZero shirt for his new year clothes..

lucky bastard... =.=

i dun even have one not that i can wear it nicely since im growing fatter and fatter by day..

i cant believe after eating watermelons and a cup noodle (the big one), im still hungry...

I NEED TO CONTROL MY FOOD INTAKE!!!!

say only...

haizz...

so now im back to books and so on...

exams on this week..

a lot to study and learn..

im so damn scared that i couldnt hold on to that 3.3 CGPA to stay here and not go to Cyberjaya..

no offence but Cyber is a bit dead...

haha...

sry eva..

so now, im busy blogging and not studying and worrying that i didn get 3.3... =.=

suddenly, that K-on clock give me a scare...

it has the voices of all characters that will say the time every hour..

and i have my headphone on and the volume up...

i nearly jumped out of my skin..

jeez..

sometimes the things u like will be a problem..

i saw him today at ixora foodcourt..

hmm..

nothing special...

anyway, best of luck to all my classmates..

Good Luck in Finals..

lets do our best... ^^

p/s: lazy~

XDDD

Facebook

i spent tooo much time on facebook already but not in front of my books..

i can't stand it without clicking on that home button refreshing the homepage again and again...

incredibly i can actually stay 2 hours on facebook...

people said facebook is getting more and more boring but i dun think so...

well, since i can actually spent so long time in front of it.. haha...

updating stupid stuffs and reading posts from people is fun but maybe im just plain desperate for attention....

i need to control myself...

test is coming up and im still in facebook...

i better stop or else facebook will do this to me..

not forgetting maplestory....

too too too much time on maple...

nearly 20 hours on maple during my midterm break last week..

i did not sleep the whole night because of that..

im DOOMED!!

I NEED TO STOP!!!!

p/s: all the talking but no actions... y am i criticizing myself??

I Don't Care..

im going to stay here and only here for my degree!!

i don't want to go all the way to cyber just because they did not provide the course i wanted here..

why must i go cyber when Muar is so near to Melaka?

why must i go all the way to Cyber when they provide this course only in June?

i can wait for 4 months just because i WANT TO STAY HERE...

it's so near to my hometown.. and also the food is nicer, cheaper...

i don't like wasting money on something i don't like..

might as well just go somewhere else like Sunway for example...

the creepy thing about this is that i MUST get first class as in 3.67..

that.. i can't do anything..

test is coming and look what im doing...

BLOGGING!!!

it's not wrong actually..

im just bored...

anyways, bankai have their whole server reset...

tonnes of people lost their mesos and rares... so, they quit..

why quit when it's only something that u can't even get in real life...

i know it's hard earn bla bla bla.. maybe im saying this because i dun even have much..

hey, i have lost 7 SE's also ok (implies to bankai people only, non-bankaian's sry it's hard to explain)

ok then that's all for today..

bye peeps...

XDDD

Im The Worst Failure Ever...

the most unluckiest day of my life....
i did not bring the key back...
i did not listen to anyone..
i got angry when im stressed...
i did the worst and the worst drama ever...
and all is because of me...
now T-Rex hates me...
did i mention that i HAVE TO RETYPE EVERYTHING AGAIN BECAUSE HE LEARNT TO CTRL+A AND DELETE ALL THE POST I JUST WRITTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how mush worse can my life gets???

everyone did their best..
everyone tried to make it work...
but without a plan, how does one thing work?
dat plan was wat im suppose to do....

so im sorry guys...
all blames to me..
we dun have much time...
and i didn give them any....


p/s: sorry no smiley today... :(

So.............

Life is unfair sometimes but what can we do?
how unfair can it be? check this out..
i have a quiz and test (due date: today)
i have drama and presentation (time:next week)
i'm hungry coz i dun feel like eating just now and i'm hungry now..
i thought that if i online a lot of my friends will online.. but none did.. 0.0

ok dat's all..
not dat its unfair or wat..
i just couldnt find another word to describe it...
i need my sleep damn it..
i have oni 5 hours of sleep and now my life is already cut short for 3 hours....
i hope i can take back dat 3 hours tonite!!
i don't want to die early!!!!
i still got too much things to do...

maybe im going to buy 2 hedgehogs and put at my melaka's house..
i've been asking my housemates and i don't think any of them actually minded...
haha..
i decided to call the male, Sonic and the female, Poke..

weird name but i got my reasons...
shhh.. ^.~

that;s all i have today..
enjoy the long weekends to all my Malaysians friends...
happy deepavali to all my friends....
see yo!!


XDDD

Busy Week...

it's gonna be a very very very busy week next wekk..
drama.. presentation.. project...
haizzz...
hopefully everything will go on well..

anyway.. since i haven blogging a long time alr....
because im damn busy...
i shall talk about.....
nothing...


ok bye c ya guys....
happy halloween...

smile dun sulk...


XDDD

Need You

I know its not your fault, but I’m? a locked door
Anytime I’m a mess by someone before
And I wish that I, I could find a key
To unlock all the things that you want us to be
Let me open up and start again,
But there’s a safe around my heart
I don’t know how to let you in,
And that’s what keeps us apart
And that’s why I need time.
I said I need you,
I need you to understand, you, you, you
I need you to understand, you, you, you

Call up the locksmith,
Tell him we need him quick
We’ve got a million keys,?
None of them seem to fit
While your on the phone,
Call up the clocksmith,
Cuz I could use some time,
Even the slightest bit

Let me open up and start again,
And break this safe around my heart
I don’t know how to let you in,
And that’s what keeps us apart
And that’s why I need time
I said I need you
I need you to understand, you, you, you
I need you to understand, you, you, you

I’m thinking now’s? the time,
Maybe its time to go, if I gave you my heart, be gentle,
I’m tired of laying low, lets give the world a show
And when you know, you know,
And when you know, you know, you know
And when you know, you know, you know, you know
And that’s why I need time

I said I need you,
I need you to understand, you, you, you (x2)
I need you to understand (x4)
I need you (x3)
I need you, you, you

-travie mccoy-

I Need My Sleep!!!

i seriously need my sleep..
im lacking of sleep and every hour that i didn use to sleep to complete my 8 hours is going to cut my life off..
seriously..
and i cant believe i woke up at 10 today...
just because im scared of my presentation...
u know the feeling of butterflies in ur tummy....
mine is like a herd of elephants in my black hole...
er... dat doesnt hurt..
i mean my tummy then...
lol...
im going to go back my hometown and enjoy my sleep as much aspossible to claim back the hours of dream...



XDDDDD

Everything Will Go Back To Normal.....

definitely....
hopefully that all will be back to normal excpet for those that cannot be mended forever...

MS is getting boring and boring i dunno wat to do there....
walk around..
cant find anyone to talk to...
maybe the time difference with my friends or just plain lazy to on...
so currently, its my 2nd day in new new new semmm....
new books.... @.@
new classmates... =.= lawyers..
new assignments.... *faints*
new presentations... *faints*
new lecturer... ^^
new subjects... @.@

the first day i entered the Moral Studies class and my eyes just @.@
shyt... no chairs.. no tables.. all taken..
shyt.. all PL group (law students)...
how to do assignments and presentations ah?
luckily, got other PM students...
haizz....
relieve a bit....
i knew only one girl from PL that's all...
im dead...

later got another class at 6...
11 to 6 gap... @.@
wonder wat will happen again...
the lecturer scaring us with assignments, projects, dramas, presentations???
i couldnt take it like this if she continues saying more...
i dunno wat to do with my project....
hmmmmmmm....

ok la.. gtg...
wan take my nap first...
get a little rest before my next class.......


p/s: first days aren't always the best.. maybe next week will be better....



XDDDDD

The End..

Exam is coming to an end in another 17 hours..
i can't wait for that time..
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG....
im so damn scared..
i did pretty bad this year...
play and no study..
where got no worry???
if i have to resit papers, im going to bang my head against the wall..
i dun wan to see the same lecturer's face again...
damn lame ok....

there is nothing much that i can do because of this exam season..
most of the time rea-watching anime, One Piece..
i cannot avoid it..
it's damn addictive and now im still in episode 323...
still damn long...
current is 466..
when can i finish this ah??
heard that the manga artist took a month off..
wonder what he is doing...

this whole 2 weeks i can't go back Muar... sad..
i have exams, ok dun go back..
next week, my sis' exam..
who want to send me back ah???
haizz...
cant learn my driving so have to wait till the end of next (and the last) semester...

time flies so fast...
now, its the finals for 2nd semester and next month is the beginning of a new semester..
after that everyone disperse off to their respective degree courses...
im going to miss a lot of friends in Foundation...
we may meet on the walkway but it will never be the same as the time we spend in the hall together...

ok that's all before i get any emo-er....



XDDDD