Leave Me Alone!

This few days, A has been so so so so so damn annoying. I really want to avoid if i can. He gets on my nerves too much and I think i am in the verge of tearing him apart.
It is so hard to cope with this kind of people. I know i will meet more people like him one day but he is just too annoying for me. I really want to scream in his face to leave me alone.
The biggest regret i ever had is electing him as my successor. He is practically so annoying right now. My blood is boiling because of him, I can't sleep, and now, problems just start collapsing above me.
Isn't it better to leave me alone? You all hate me anyway. I'm weird, I talk weird, i look weird, I'm stupid so just go away. Isn't it better like that than to tolerate me?
Just go away.
Just go away.
Leave me alone!

No more.

From these days forth, I will never hang out with you guys anymore, I will never talk to you guys anymore, I will never approach you guys anymore.
I will disappear, I will run away, I will not be anywhere near you guys.
Because I know my existence only taint your happiness.
Thank you for all these time. I think I had enough. And I can guess all of you had enough of me too.

Quirkiness and Weirdness.

Is it me or people just can't handle weirdness? I admit I am very weird. I mumble to myself, sometimes i yell and scream at the smallest problem, I can laugh at anything, I am amused by the smallest joke, I can get really cranky at times, I get pissed off easily, I find people annoying and I hate going out because I hate people. I hate people because of the ugliness of the world where everyone would do anything to get what they want or people that has no empathy or sympathy, people who are always self-centered and stingy, power and money minded people. It is just unbearable to go outside and face this kinds of things.

I agree that there is so much more than what I see. There is love and friendship and so much more but ugliness has already clouded my mind and I don't see any solution of things becoming better.

Back to topic, I tend to speak or talk really loudly unintentionally. People will avoid me at all cost. I lose a friend because of that. I tend to not take care of my looks. People avoid me. I tend to not talk to other people because I am shy. People ignore me. I hate arguments so I always kept quiet when someone wants to argue with me. People just walk away and never looked back.

A lot of people can never understand me. They won't accept me for who I am. They want me to change into the same image of every other human beings on the planet. I am sorry but I can't do that. I am who I am. I won't start wearing make-up because you tell me too. I won't stop eating what I want just because you say I am fat. I won't wear a skirt because I have my reasons and I don't even think it's nice. So, right now, I will have to learn how to 'don't give a damn' to people out there. Hate me, I still can survive alone. I am LoneRangerZz for a reason.

p/s: If you know me so well, I ask you this. What is my favourite colour?

Friends.

I somehow loses my friends very easily. One, they moved away. Two, lost contact with them. Three, they forgets about me. Four, they avoid me because of my attitude.
I get really really sad when i lose a friend. It's true that people will leave you anytime, anywhere, but it's still so sad when one leaves. It's like a part of you just dies off. And scrapping that part off is not easy.
But what can I do. It's not like i can force them to stay. It's not like they will listen to me. Everyone has to move on one day. It's so sad.

I have a friend who doesn't even think I am a friend. i got ignored. It is the saddest feeling when it happens. Can't people just tell me in my face when they don't want me around? It's better to just tell me.

Karma's a bitch.

Understand.

Sometimes, you have to understand that I am not you. Everyone is different and everyone has different opinions. Just because I let you step on my head doesn't mean you can take everything take for granted.

No more arguments, no more being nice!

I am so damn tired of being nice and arguments..
Arguing is just plain stupid.
People argue all day, of course, no one agrees with everything that is happening in the world right now. But what is the point arguing on stupid stuffs?
I am so sick and tired of arguing on the small matters that I have given up the whole thing.
I have tried arguing with so many people, I can't give a good comeback, some even say i give horrible arguments which makes no sense at all, so I might as well keep this fucking mouth shut and not argue at all. To some of you out there, this is pathetic. But it is not to me.
So if anyone starts an argument, I am just going to say, 'yes, you are right, I am wrong, I am stupid, you win, the end, shut up.'

Which brings to the point of being nice.
Being nice all the time is the most stupidest thing I can do.
People nowadays just takes advantage of those that are nice and fucking step on their heads without feeling sorry.
Why?
Because they are too nice to object or even say no.
Some of the people might think, 'oh, this girl is just crapping and she doesn't know what is she talking about, bla bla bla.'
Get real!
Real world doesn't work with nice people.
Most people will take the most advantage out of you without considering your feeling whatsoever.
Why consider their feeling when they are you stupid stepping stone to success or whatever bullshit that is?
The word 'EMPATHY' is no longer existing in anyone's dictionary.
Yes, I am writing this anger.
Done for now.
Goodbye.

It's Weird

Sometimes i find myself really weird..

not just the whole dual personality thing..

but also the way i act..

i am so scared of talking in fear of saying the wrong things and hurt others..

by the way i speak and the words i say..

the way i move and the actions i do..

i will regret after doing something or say something that i think i shouldn't..

even when i know, it's too late for me to say sorry..

im just afraid people will hate me although im clear that there will always be someone out there that will hate me..

im not perfect..

no one is..

but still that regret will never go away..

i really hope i will not be like this but i do really hope there is someone out there that can cure this thing of mine..

the more i say, the more low confidence i get...

i mean my confidence level now i can guess is negative 10..

its still going down one by one every single day..

i wonder if one day i will get my confidence up to positive, even only 1..

im kinda feeling really insecure now..

he fits everything but i may not fit what he wants..

im starting to feel ike giving it up but luckily there are friends around me that will hit my head when i mentioned it..

its nice to have such friends..

there are people who tried to help me to make this work...

am really grateful to them..

if fate does not approve, then oh well, you know the rest..

my head is really messed up now..

i better not type too much..

i dun even understand what im typing..

bye peeps..

have a nice day~

Wanna Know What I Wish To Do Now?

1. bang head on the wall

2. thrash a shop full of glass without getting scolded

3. talk to someone about everything without worrying it will get out

4. jump down a building using bungee jumping

5. sit a roller coaster and yell my lungs out

6. yell my lungs out on top of the hill/mountain

7. shopping

8. emo alone in the corner

9. cry

apparently, im having PMS.. just ignore me..

Leave Me Alone..

so just because i didn on for a few months due to finals u just cut of a friendship just like dat..

cool..

people can be really funny some times...

forget about it..

a lost friendship is a friendship never meant to be...

so, i was having my finals like wat i stated up there..

the first paper was business statistics...

thank u teacher!!

although i seldom go to class, and have a stupid brain freeze during the paper, i manage to do it nicely and all done..

a few mistakes here and there but its ok..

hopefully i can get a big A for stats..

next paper which i have this morning is Accounting 2..

i really really really dun like to do accounts when i dun understand any of them..

i mean i read till 4 in the morning like stats also..

but i cant answer as nicely as stats..

i did not get brain freeze like stats but still i manage to finish all 3 questions..

which was a good job already..

luckily there are 2 question for 2 topics that i read last night..

or else im dead and have to rely on MCQ and also T/F..

which im really bad at..

3 more papers to go till finals end..

hopefully i can grab hold of that 3.3 and stay in Melaka where my heart is..

thats all i have for u today..

thankz to all of u readers that ad endured my non-stop emoness..

lol...

bad english..

XDDD

I HATE Popular People...

its either they ignore u COMPLETELY!!!

or treat u as a spare tyre..

as in like oh, i have no friends.. ima find u soon... very nice thank u...

this applies to some people ONLY..

so if u think u are not one of them, please stay that way...

appreciate it~..

Going Emo Again...

I've been ignored a few thousand times.. (ok i as just exaggerating)
i hate being ignored its like saying hi!!! and u got no reply...
silence is all i get...
i dunno what did i do wrong or what did i actually did to u..
am i that annoying to the stage where i MUST be ignored??????!!!!!!!!!

i dunno what to say...
crap...
crap..
crap...
shit...
shit..
shit...


p/s: maybe i shud quit to make them happy?
pp/s: on second thought, why shud i?
ppp/s: it is NOT about u, Jessica and u too, Victor.....

Ignorance Is Bliss?

exam finished today!!!
ended, the end, finish, habis, wan liao, die....
haha....
cant wait to go out and do lots of things...
next sem coming up...
must study hard!!!!!!

based on the title written above, i can conclude that ignorance is not bliss to the one experiencing it and vice versa....
being ignored is NO FUN!!!
no one answers u when u say smth...
no one talks to u..
no one looks at u or avoids eye contact...

my hypothesis for this theory is:
1. i say 'bye, people' to EVERYONE.... only ONE answers....
2. A: when want to go *****?
B: i going with other group of friends so we plan other days ok?
(After a few mins)
A: what to do ah? exam finish?
C: they going ***** lo...
A: B?
C: Yeah.. But i not going... (C is a good friend with B)
so, this means im not in the "group"? we are coursemates!! we are friends!! am i that annoying to u all?
3. i just feel it...

Reasons i give to keep this out of mind:
1. maybe they didn hear me... they thought its for someone else except for them... (this means they are not people?)
2. C is a good friend of B, so maybe it's other group of friends that i didn know... okok... acceptable...
3. this one i have no reason....


if i say anything wring, TELL ME!!!
if i do anything that offend u all, TELL ME!!!
if u dislike me, TELL ME!!!

that's all for today!!!
im going to enjoy watching my anime like no one cares...
love you all..
mUakzzz!!!


p/s: read this, spread this.... i dun like to backstab... wan to back stab, i can... but i just prefer to say it in ur face...

XDDD