Fucked up

I just fucked up my whole life. Once a bright student, now I find myself a disappointment.
Due to my increasing level of laziness, I did the following:

• Skipped too many classes
• No assignment group mates which causes me to miss out 20 marks.
• Fall back on my studies.

This semester has been hard for me. I am a very lazy person in nature. And karma hits me back double. I have been counted lucky a few times. I guess this is where my luck is gone. I shouldn't have relied on luck too much.
Sometimes, I do think of giving up and just suicide. But this won't change anything. It will still make my family and friends sad. I have to buckle up and try to score this semester.
If I continue skipping classes, this on my own written words, would ask someone to take my money, buy guns and bullets and shoot me in the head.
I really am very tired of all this.
I don't have much friends.
I am grateful for those that helped me.
I am so happy to have some friends who still helps me.



In the middle of the night, all I want is just a hug.