It's Weird

Sometimes i find myself really weird..

not just the whole dual personality thing..

but also the way i act..

i am so scared of talking in fear of saying the wrong things and hurt others..

by the way i speak and the words i say..

the way i move and the actions i do..

i will regret after doing something or say something that i think i shouldn't..

even when i know, it's too late for me to say sorry..

im just afraid people will hate me although im clear that there will always be someone out there that will hate me..

im not perfect..

no one is..

but still that regret will never go away..

i really hope i will not be like this but i do really hope there is someone out there that can cure this thing of mine..

the more i say, the more low confidence i get...

i mean my confidence level now i can guess is negative 10..

its still going down one by one every single day..

i wonder if one day i will get my confidence up to positive, even only 1..

im kinda feeling really insecure now..

he fits everything but i may not fit what he wants..

im starting to feel ike giving it up but luckily there are friends around me that will hit my head when i mentioned it..

its nice to have such friends..

there are people who tried to help me to make this work...

am really grateful to them..

if fate does not approve, then oh well, you know the rest..

my head is really messed up now..

i better not type too much..

i dun even understand what im typing..

bye peeps..

have a nice day~