Leave Me Alone!

This few days, A has been so so so so so damn annoying. I really want to avoid if i can. He gets on my nerves too much and I think i am in the verge of tearing him apart.
It is so hard to cope with this kind of people. I know i will meet more people like him one day but he is just too annoying for me. I really want to scream in his face to leave me alone.
The biggest regret i ever had is electing him as my successor. He is practically so annoying right now. My blood is boiling because of him, I can't sleep, and now, problems just start collapsing above me.
Isn't it better to leave me alone? You all hate me anyway. I'm weird, I talk weird, i look weird, I'm stupid so just go away. Isn't it better like that than to tolerate me?
Just go away.
Just go away.
Leave me alone!

No more.

From these days forth, I will never hang out with you guys anymore, I will never talk to you guys anymore, I will never approach you guys anymore.
I will disappear, I will run away, I will not be anywhere near you guys.
Because I know my existence only taint your happiness.
Thank you for all these time. I think I had enough. And I can guess all of you had enough of me too.

Quirkiness and Weirdness.

Is it me or people just can't handle weirdness? I admit I am very weird. I mumble to myself, sometimes i yell and scream at the smallest problem, I can laugh at anything, I am amused by the smallest joke, I can get really cranky at times, I get pissed off easily, I find people annoying and I hate going out because I hate people. I hate people because of the ugliness of the world where everyone would do anything to get what they want or people that has no empathy or sympathy, people who are always self-centered and stingy, power and money minded people. It is just unbearable to go outside and face this kinds of things.

I agree that there is so much more than what I see. There is love and friendship and so much more but ugliness has already clouded my mind and I don't see any solution of things becoming better.

Back to topic, I tend to speak or talk really loudly unintentionally. People will avoid me at all cost. I lose a friend because of that. I tend to not take care of my looks. People avoid me. I tend to not talk to other people because I am shy. People ignore me. I hate arguments so I always kept quiet when someone wants to argue with me. People just walk away and never looked back.

A lot of people can never understand me. They won't accept me for who I am. They want me to change into the same image of every other human beings on the planet. I am sorry but I can't do that. I am who I am. I won't start wearing make-up because you tell me too. I won't stop eating what I want just because you say I am fat. I won't wear a skirt because I have my reasons and I don't even think it's nice. So, right now, I will have to learn how to 'don't give a damn' to people out there. Hate me, I still can survive alone. I am LoneRangerZz for a reason.

p/s: If you know me so well, I ask you this. What is my favourite colour?

Friends.

I somehow loses my friends very easily. One, they moved away. Two, lost contact with them. Three, they forgets about me. Four, they avoid me because of my attitude.
I get really really sad when i lose a friend. It's true that people will leave you anytime, anywhere, but it's still so sad when one leaves. It's like a part of you just dies off. And scrapping that part off is not easy.
But what can I do. It's not like i can force them to stay. It's not like they will listen to me. Everyone has to move on one day. It's so sad.

I have a friend who doesn't even think I am a friend. i got ignored. It is the saddest feeling when it happens. Can't people just tell me in my face when they don't want me around? It's better to just tell me.

Karma's a bitch.

Rory Williams

I once had my own Rory, till I turn stupid and let him go. 

Love

It is such a weird thing. It comes at the weirdest moments, took you by surprise, swept you off your feet, and you landed on your back with either an arm stretched or the cold hard floor waiting for you. It is true that people can leave without love. In this context, it means, love between 2 different, non-related individuals. Love between siblings and family members, pets and other non-existence things are different.

It hurts a lot when all you hear from the one is bla bla bla, this girl, bla bla bla, that girl, bla bla bla, i like her, bla bla bla. I feel like punching you in the guts but that will be impossible. I saw a post in Facebook by one of the animes. It hit really hard on me.

So, now you're going to hate me?

I wish I could. 

Tears won't flow.

I have been watching numerous sad movies, series, whatever I can find. I have been listening to so many sad musics. I have watched the saddest episode for Doctor Who. I still can't seem to get these heavy tears of anguish, pain and sadness flow. Everything is balled up into one huge dark ball, ready to be released. But why wouldn't it release or go away when I want it to be. It is so heavy, keeping it to myself like this. The feeling inside is so painful I really hope i just ask it to go away. Please just go away.

Gotye- Hearts A Mess 

Pick apart

The pieces of your heart

And let me peer inside

Let me in

Where only your thoughts have been

Let me occupy your mind

As you do mine

Your heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense

But I'm desperate to connect

You can't live like this

You have lost

(Too much love)

To fear, doubt and distrust

(It's not enough)

You just threw away the key

To your heart

You don't get burned

('Cause nothing gets through)

It makes it easier

(Easier on you)

But that much more difficult for me

To make you see

Love ain't fair

So there you are

My love

You heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense 

But I'm desperate to connect

And you, you can't live like this

You heart's a mess

You won't admit to it

It makes no sense 

But I'm desperate to connect

And you, you can't live like this

Love ain't safe 

You won't get hurt of you stay chaste

So you can wait

But I don't wanna waste my love

The meaning for this video is quite easy to understand. Gotye is trying to connect to a person and mend his/her heart. The first one is a 'victim' carried away by canniblas. It signifies imprisonment or being controlled. The second one is a broken stork. It signifies abortion and impotence. The third one is a woodcutter in a jungle full of eyes. It signifies that the woodcutter is lost in the jungle full of eyes which are judgmental people. The eyes that are always looking at you, making you feel down. The fourth one is a crane knocking houses down. It signifies anger and depression. The fifth one is a 'victim' on an ice, trying to row to shore. It signifies hopelessness, trying to reach out to someone for help. The sixth one is a ghost appearing out of grave. It signifies death of a loved one. As they continue, they climbed onto each other and flew into space. This means relieving the person from all the six sufferings. The spider closed the heart with a drape signifying a new start, a new beginning. So Gotye, leads the six sufferings out of the person's heart, creating a new beginning for him/her.